Busted By Cops For Having A Trunk Loaded With Coke Prank

These pranksters loaded up their trunk with cans of coca cola, and then asked people on the street if they wanted to have some coke.  Naturally, it wasn’t long before someone snitched on them and informed the cops who then had to investigate.

Source:
http://new.damn.com/busted-cops-trunk-loaded-coke-prank/

They Greeted The Pizza Delivery Man Like This. His Reaction? Epic!

So hilariously epic I can’t stop laughing while watching it! I even watched the video again and again. If you want to have a good laugh or you’re having a rough day, this silly but very funny video will make your day! Have you ever thought of such novel but very fun idea with your friends greeting the pizza delivery guy like this? Well, what do you think of this idea? What makes it more epic is how the pizza man reacted. You gotta love this funny video just like everyone else! Have fun watching, sharing and commenting on this video!

Source:
http://new.damn.com/greeted-pizza-delivery-man-like-reaction-epic/

This Man Was Hunting In A Tree When He Came Face To Face With A BEAR! OMG!!

While hunting in Alberta, Canada, this man received a treetop visit from a furry friend. Jeffrey Moffatt had taken refuge up a tree when a bear approached their hunting camp. He didn’t expect the bear to follow him up the tree though.

Source:
http://new.damn.com/this-man-was-hunting-in-a-tree-when-he-came-face-to-face-with-a-bear-omg/

The Muscle Barbie: She Got the Face of a Doll and the Body of the Incredible HULK..WHOA!

Meet Julia Vins. From the neck up, she’s probably one of the prettiest women you’ll ever meet. This stunner from Engels, Russia has the face of a doll, with big beautiful eyes and flowing blonde hair. Below the neck is a body that can beat the crap out of you. I’m serious. Look at that. This chick can deadlift 400 pounds, which is the average weight of an adult male lion. She already has three world powerlifting records and it looks like she’s working to get more. Because of her physique, she’s earned the title “Muscle Barbie” from those who know her. This 18-year old now has more than 23,000 followers on Instagram, thanks to her unusual looks.

source:
http://new.damn.com/the-muscle-barbie-she-got-the-face-of-a-doll-and-the-body-of-the-incredible-hulk-whoa/

Cats And Rats Get Rich Scheme

This almost sounds like a ponzi scheme based off rats and cats. I'm not saying I don't think it will work, I am just saying, it seems a little off. It probably needs a bit of refinement really. Anyone ready to try it out?

What Your Hands?

I'm not certain on this one. The shirt could possibly mean 'clap your hands', but since they can't pronounce 'L', they spell it like they say it. Or, it could just mean crap in your hands. That's another strong possibility with these kind. I guess we'll never know for sure.

He's Got Perfect Measurements

He must be at the tailor getting all measured up for his new tuxedo. He's got an award to except at the Hot Body Contest tonight. He's got those curves that all the ladies want to get their hands on.

Got Himself A Hot Date

Wow, this is a level of loneliness I didn't even realize existed. The guys who are in love with their Real Dolls seem pretty damn cool compared to this pathetic soul. He better not let his girlfriend eat any of that McDonald's. It'd be a real shame if she added some unwanted pounds.

We Can Skip This Aisle

What the #%*) store are we in here? I just wanted some rat or cat meat to cook up for dinner. Quit trying to sell me Asian boy coc.juice and shit. I don't care if it's your new item. I've got enough coc.juice of my own.

I Know What I'm Ordering

I'm a little confused on this one. Did the chef fuck the duck til it exploded or is that on me? I'm hungry so I was more interested in eating it, but if I have to fuck it first, I guess I will. I don't want to be rude to my Chinese hosts. When in Rome...

More Sex More Problems

This billboard has so much WTF and win in it, I can't even believe a human made it. It almost seems like an alien landed in Thailand for a day, seen what was going on, and made this poster as a warning for other aliens that might stop by and visit. Remember Solution: Eat half dinner or go Vegetarian then go to Sleep.

I Think That Goes Without Saying

Of course I'm going to present my octopus. What kind of person do they think I am that I would just walk in their place and keep my octopus tucked away and hidden? I'm a little offended that they would assume I have to be told something this obvious. LOL Asians.

Funny Jokes

1. A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."


2. The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"


3. Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"




4. Teacher: "Kids,what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"


5. Roses are red.
Your blood is too.
You look like a monkey
And belong in a zoo.
Do not worry,
I'll be there too.
Not in the cage,
But laughing at you.

Funny Quotes

 A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
-- Robert Frost

A woman is like a tea bag - you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
-- Erica Jong

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
-- Gandhi

A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
-- Winston Churchill

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-- Wendell Johnson

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
-- Oscar Wilde

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
-- Margaret Mead

Mom Tries To Nap With Baby. What The Baby Does To Her Is Too Funny

Very cute, and no doubt a lot of parents out there will be able to relate. Mom decides to film her morning routine which consists of waking up after the baby wakes, and then bringing her into bed so mom can catch a few extra Z’s. Only one problem: Someone does not want to go back to sleep, and it’s not mom! Watch as the baby squirms and turns and tries playing with her mom’s face while mom is desperately trying to nap. Definitely will put a smile on your face!

source:
http://new.damn.com/mom-tries-nap-baby-baby-funny/

She Offers Her Pet Rat A Piece Of Broccoli. His Reaction Is So Funny, I Had To Hit Replay

Oh, rats. One of the better-known but woefully misunderstood creatures to walk this planet, rats are often viewed in a negative light. Contrary to popular opinion, rats are fastidious groomers and highly sociable animals; domestic varieties truly enjoy the company of humans. Altruistic, they share their food with their friends and come to the aid of fellow rats in trouble. In experiments, rats would attempt to free other rats from a cage before obtaining a piece of chocolate for themselves.
These traits, as well as their intelligence, make for a wonderful pet with plenty of personality. Rats both in the wild and in captivity also enjoy as much variety in their diets as humans. The pet rat in this video may also be as picky as some.

source:
http://new.damn.com/offers-pet-rat-piece-broccoli-reaction-funny-hit-replay/

This Poor Baby Is Drowning. Now Watch What A Wild Stallion Does…

Champ, a wild stallion, is grazing along the bank of the Salt River in Arizona’s Tonto National Forest, along with his family. A few minutes later, arriving at the opposite bank, are a second band of wild horses.
Champ and his tribe become interested in the the new group, and a few begin to cross the river to check them out.
But then the strong current forces the filly of the group to be pulled underwater and swept downstream.
Champ attempts to grab the filly by the side of the neck. Unable to secure a grip, the filly struggles in the water and breaks away from the group.
Then Champ also breaks from the group and goes after her, grabbing her again by the neck, but this time he is able to gently help her back to the band, not letting go until he is absolutely sure she is completely safe.
The filly then heads to her mother, very shaken up from the ordeal. Once everything is settled, Champ himself proceeds across the river to say hello to the stallions.
Champ then returns to greet his family and then, as the video says, “Like a scripted ending, to a fairy tale story, three birds land on Champ and his mare.”

source:
http://new.damn.com/this-poor-baby-is-drowning-now-watch-what-a-wild-stallion-does/

A 5 Year Old Street Kid Goes to McDonald’s for the First Time. Seconds Later? I’m In Tears.

This heartbreaking video of a 5 year old child who enters a McDonald’s for the first time, will surely reminds you how lucky you are.
Varun Pruthi, an actor from India, is widely known for his controversial and thought provoking videos. He also conducted several social experiments with the intent to make our society a much better place.
In his latest video posted on Youtube, Varun invited a 5-year-old street kid, who sells pens outside a McDonald outlet, to come with him inside. The child spends his time everyday outside the McDonald outlet selling pens and just staring at the people eating their meals inside. For the first time in his life, thanks to a stranger, he finally got the chance to have anything he wants to eat inside the McDonald’s. Much to Varun’s surprise, the kid didn’t eat everything. He saved one burger for his sister back home. What a thoughtful kid!
When Varun asked why he doesn’t go to school. He answered, “If I go to school, how will I feed myself?”

source:
http://new.damn.com/a-5-year-old-street-kid-goes-to-mcdonalds-for-the-first-time-seconds-later-im-in-tears/

What Are You Trying To Tell Me China?

Oh China, you so crazy. Once again, you've made me shake my head and ask myself, "What the fuck?" I can only assume that this a sign telling people where they can find dogs to kill and eat. What do you think szechuan chicken is?

Who Wants Some Shaolin Fried Chicken?

Colonel Sanders is worldwide, bitches, and he's even over there in China, serving up his delicious fried chicken. Well, maybe. I'm guessing it's actually fried rat disguised as chicken. Either way, he's sporting some sweet threads. I bet you didn't know the Colonel is a Kung-Fu master, did you?

Where's The Ladies Room?

This restaurant is a great place to take a date. When your chick asks where the ladies room is, she gets to go where she belongs and can whip up your dessert for you real quick. Or if she's shitty company, give the manager a heads up, and he'll have that bitch washing dishes.

Too Many Fatties In The Car

Oh shit, a car full of BBWs on their way to McDonald's went and done collapsed the road on itself. I told those fatties that car was too small for them. They need something much bigger to disperse their weight. That little hatchback provides too great of a concentrated load for the pavement to handle.

Flights Delayed Due To Unruly Wild Boar

MADRID (AP) — Spain's airport authority says a wild boar that broke through a perimeter fence at Madrid's international airport caused runways to be shut briefly and two landings to be delayed.
The beast set off security alarms late Friday and when cameras focused on the spot, operators observed it turning around and loping off through the hole it had made.
The incident happened 100 meters (330 feet) from the nearest stretch of runway. It delayed an incoming flight from London 20 minutes and a domestic flight from A Coruna 10 minutes, the airport authority's statement said Saturday.
Newspaper El Pais reported the captain aboard Iberia flight 3179 inbound from London told passengers an animal had "surprisingly" forced him to abort a landing approach.
The hole was repaired later.

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/16/wild-boar-flight-delays-spain-airport_n_6691590.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Brandon Scott Wolf Creates Dating Website For Himself Only

Finding love online can be difficult when you are just one of millions actively seeking a partner.
So Brandon Scott Wolf has found a way to increase the odds in his favor. He's created DateBrandonScott Wolf, a dating site where he is the only dating option.
The website claims to be “America’s No. 1 Online Dating Site for Brandon Scott Wolf.”
Women interested in dating the 25-year-old Brooklyn-based bartender and comedian simply need to fill out a profile and write an essay between 500 and 1,000 words about "an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family."
In return, Wolf promises to be the perfect partner for a woman seeking a serious relationship, which he defines as "being able to lay on a couch together while wearing pajamas and watching 'Bob’s Burgers' (LOL)."
So far, Wolf has received more than 45 applications, including one all the way from India, Fusion.net reports.
Wolf is cautiously optimistic he might find lasting love from one of the applicants.
“Half seem real, a quarter seem VERY real,” he told Elite Daily.
Since Wolf is a known comedian who contributes jokes to the "Weekend Update" segment on "Saturday Night Live," you're forgiven if you're not sure he's serious.
Neither is he.
"People have asked me, 'Are you serious? Is this a joke?' And my only response is, 'I'm not even sure,'" Wolf told Mashable. "There's a part of me that's hoping someone is going to get this 100 percent, and won't catfish me, and then I'll ask them out on a date."


source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/18/brandon-scott-wolf-_n_6707890.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Woman Unknowingly Drives Pounds of Pot Around in Van for Several Years

They weren't rolling doobies down by the river, but Melodie Peil and her family were using their gently used 1990 Chevy van to roll around town when they discovered a stowaway that had been bumming a ride with them for about the last 15 years, 13 and a half pounds of marijuana packaged for transport.
It's not that anyone riding around in the Peil family truckster would've noticed the smell of pot due to the fact that it appears it hasn't seen the business end of a scrub brush since it was originally purchased from the used car dealership. (See attached video news clip.)
But Melodie was having trouble locking the side passenger door, so she asked a family friend to take a look at the trouble for her. When the friend popped off the door's interior panel to check the lock mechanism, he quickly noticed the door's frame was jam-packed with packaged bricks of the sticky stuff.
"Low and behold, we discovered something that didn't belong there," Peil affirmed. "It was pretty shocking."
Law enforcement officials claim that the stash was most likely placed there by the van's previous owner and forgotten about.
What makes this story even more "shocking" is the fact that Peil drove the pot-stocked van through at least 10 border patrol checkpoints in New Mexico without officials detecting the unbeknownst cargo.
Five-0 says the van's secret stash probably wasn't detectable by drug-sniffing dogs and border agents due to the fact that it was aged.
Have you purchased a used vehicle lately?
If so, you'd better give it a proper nasal appraisal. You might be driving around with a bud-load of the good-good!
Toke on and travel safe, tokers!

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-/woman-unknowingly-drives-_b_6576414.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird+News

Boy, 5, Claims He Lived Past Life As Woman Who Died In Chicago Fire

Luke Ruehlman is a healthy 5-year-old boy. Still, he's already had a lifetime of experiences -- he has even died!
At least, that's what he claims. In a bizarre series of TV interviews, Ruehlman has managed to convince at least a few people that he lived a past life as Pam Robinson, an African-American Chicago woman who died in a fire at the Paxton Hotel in 1993.
Ruehlman started weirding out his stay-at-home mom, Erika, at the age of 2, when he started talking about a mystery woman named Pam. Later, she would ask him directly who the heck Pam was.
"He turned to me and said, 'Well, I was,'" she told Fox 8 (video above). "[He said] 'Well, I used to be, but I died and I went up to heaven. I saw God and then eventually, God pushed me back down and I was a baby and you named me Luke.'"

More Info with Pics at Source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/20/boy-reincarnated-woman-chicago-fire_n_6715128.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Police Arrest Connecticut Man Who Became Irate With $50 Haircut

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) — A man who was unhappy with his haircut faces criminal charges after police say he became enraged and threw items around a Connecticut salon.
Stamford Police Sgt. Kelly Connelly says 47-year-old Alan Becker was angered further when he learned the trim he got Wednesday morning was going to cost him $50.
Connelly says Becker kicked a hole in a salon wall, became hostile toward staff and customers, and threw a candle display and other items, then left.
Police say Becker returned later and demanded his hair be "fixed," but the salon refused.
Authorities later arrested Becker on breach of peace and criminal mischief charges at his Stamford home.
A recording on a phone listing for Becker said it couldn't receive new messages. It's not clear if he has a lawyer.

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/20/police-man-unhappy-with-_n_6723440.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Funny Quotes

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
― Jarod Kintz

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”
― Jarod Kintz

“Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.”
― Jarod Kintz

“If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.”
― Jarod Kintz

“Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.”
― Jarod Kintz

“I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.”
― Jarod Kintz

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”
― Jarod Kintz

Kim Jong Un Debuts Sculptured New Haircut And Trimmed Eyebrows

North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un, already known for his unique hairdo, has updated his look.
Kim's new hairstyle remains cropped on the sides and heavy on top, but he appears to have grown his hair out and had it sculpted into a trapezoidal shape. And, for good measure, it seems as if he's had his eyebrows trimmed. CNN called it a "power haircut." The New York Daily News described it as "barbarous." New York magazine said it was "ambitious." And Vox had a list of 29 questions about the hair. While much ado is being made over the 'do, it's really just a more sculpted version of a look Kim sported for a period of time last spring, right down to the eyebrows

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/19/kim-jong-un-new-haircut_n_6718380.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird%20News

It's Hip To Have 8-Foot Hips

Huge hips may be the hot new body part, no ifs, ands or really big butts about it.
That's the prediction of Claudia Floraunce, 40, an aspiring actress and plus-size model who recently moved her 64-inch hips (and the rest of her body) to Los Angeles from her native Austria in hopes of becoming the next big sex symbol.
“I find my hips very sexy, in fact I find my whole body very sexy," Floraunce tells Barcroft TV. "I think people like looking at me because I’m a very unique size. I’m very large but I carry myself with a lot of confidence. I get a minimum 27 marriage proposals every day. To have curves is in and I’m in -- finally.”
Floraunce is hoping to thrust her huge hips into the forefront of fashion with the help of a new documentary, "World's Biggest Hips," that debuted Wednesday on the British TV network Channel 5.
The documentary profiles four women who feel blessed to be broad in the beam.
The one who gets the most hip hype is Mikel Ruffinelli, 39. Her backside measures 8 feet around, despite only having a 40-inch waist.
Ruffinelli's hips are so humongous that she has to turn sideways in her house to avoid getting stuck in corridors.
The inconvenience doesn't get Ruffinelli down, though.
"I have an extreme physique," Ruffinelli (pictured below) said, according to the Daily Mail. "I love my curves, I love my hips, I love my attributes. I love my shape and I see no reason to diet because I don’t have health problems. Men don’t fancy skinny girls, they like an hourglass figure."

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/18/worlds-biggest-hips-claudia-floraunce_n_6708396.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Canadian Politician Blames Tight Underpants For Missing Vote

OTTAWA, Ontario (AP) — A Canadian politician has blamed cheap, tight underwear for his sudden departure from Parliament causing him to miss a vote on anti-terror legislation.
Opposition lawmaker Pat Martin told Parliament Thursday he had bought a bunch of men's underwear for half price which were clearly too small for him, making it difficult to sit for any length of time.
He apologized for missing the vote amid laughter in the chamber and asked for his vote to be counted.
The speaker of the House of Commons allowed his vote.
On Twitter, Canadians quipped about Martin being "poorly briefed" and how he "briefed" Parliament on why he missed the vote.
Martin, who often uses humor in Parliament, once asked the government if they were prepared for a zombie invasion.

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/20/pat-martin-tight-underpants_n_6724750.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Hitler Is Alive And Well

Everyone thought Hitler died over 60 years ago, but nope. He's been alive and well this whole time. His Jew killing doctors discovered a youth formula and he's hardly aged at all. He's just laying low for now, but when the time is right, he'll get back to his genocidal work.

Watch Out For That Hole

Apu just got his new motor bike and pimped it out to show off for all the ladies. Now he just needs to learn how to ride it. Manholes are an obstacle he has not yet overcome, but at least he's spreading joy to all the villagers.

Sand Dune Skier

Achmed has dreamed of skiing in the Olympics since he was a little tike in a turban. All his friends told him he was crazy and that he should be stoning bitches and blowing up infidels instead of wasting his time on the slopes. But he kept his mind focused on his goal and although he'll never win the gold, he still loves carving up the sand, and nobody will ever take that away from him.

This Video Shows What Would Happen If A HUGE Asteroid Hit The Earth.

When you think of dinosaurs, you think of extinction. When you think of humans on the other hand, extinction rarely comes to mind. But human extinction is a very real possibility. If an asteroid is coming at us full speed, and is large enough, it could collide with the Earth, potentially causing instant death. While it is very, very slim, the possibility does exist. What would the scenario look like? The Discovery Channel mocked up a version of what this apocalypse causing asteroid would look like and the scenario that would unfold. Really an amazing simulation, as well as an absolutely terrifying one!

source:
http://new.damn.com/video-shows-happen-huge-asteroid-hit-earth/

Watch What Happens When This Tiny Frog Gets Mad. His Reaction When Someone Tries To Touch Him Is Hilarious!

Spending most of it’s time in moist sandy regions feeding on moths and insect larva, the desert rain frog is probably the absolute cutest frog in the world! It is a tiny nocturnal amphibian native to Namibia and South Africa. And when this little guy gets mad, his cuteness shines even brighter!

source:
http://new.damn.com/watch-happens-tiny-frog-gets-mad-must-cutest-thing-ive-ever-seen/

She Microwaves Broken Crayons. When She Pours It Out, I’m Writing This Down

After watching how simple this craft is, I’m already planning out what colors I want to use. These adorable crayon candles will look great in any room of the house. This video was uploaded by the YouTube channel “SoCraftastic” and I couldn’t be happier. I always have a candle burning when I’m home; it definitely helps me to unwind after a long day. Now, I can burn the candles without the high cost of buying new ones all the time.

The awesome part about making crayon candles is that the craft can be done with the kids. Melting the crayons may get messy, but with a little supervision, this craft is perfect for kids to try out. I guess this video just goes to show that even adults don’t outgrow crayons.

Here we love when we get opportunities to be crafty. We hope you give this one a shot; I know plenty of us at the office can’t wait to start building our candles. Tell us what you think in the comments section below when you’re done watching.

source:
http://new.damn.com/microwaves-broken-crayons-pours-im-writing/

McLovin's New Tattoo

I see McLovin has once again used his fake ID, but this time to get tattooed in honor of his favorite band. I looked them up, and after learning they are a Christian rock band, I knew all I needed to know. They suck. But I already assumed that based on their number one fan.

Are You Brave Enough?

Dullfeathers sent us this arts and crafts project he put together, with a quote that he applies to his daily life. After spending thousands of dollars on dildos to shove up his ass, he realized that many household objects can fit in his ass, and by using them instead, he can save his money for male prostitutes.

How Did That Horse Get In There

How in the hell did that horse get into that tire? It's not dead...yet. You think someone threw a mint in there, and the horse went in after it and bam, you have a horse in a tire situation.

I Have Good News And Bad News

The good news is, it's Friday mother fuckers, to get our drink on! The bad news is, Frank fucking wrecked the truck that had all the beer in it, and now we have no beer at the store. Frank also failed the piss test and now doesn't have a job. But I have a pickup truck, and I say we back up to the back of the semi and "lighten" their load.

Funny Quotes

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. - Bob Monkhouse.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. - Elayne Boosler.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Oscar Wilde

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. - Robert Bloch.

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell “BINGO!” - Anonymous.

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. - Dave Barry.

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Anonymous.

Real life GTA. Check Out What Grand Theft Auto Looks Like… IN REAL LIFE!

After an idiot went on a rampage, stealing cars and driving extremely dangerous, in Colorado recently – the story hit the news. When YouTube funsters Fat Awesome noticed that its aerial shots and crazy criminal nature looked like something from Grand Theft Auto, they knew they had to edit the footage to that effect. They’re video game parody specialists and they’ve done a sterling job here. For us, it’s the audio that really makes it…

source:
http://new.damn.com/real-life-gta-check-grand-theft-auto-looks-like-real-life/

She's Rolling Indian Style

The Xtreme Games are being held in India for the first time, and all the natives are polishing up their skills for the competition. Rajani has been training hard is all set to reclaim her tow-in skateboarding championship.

Checking Out Some Fine Ladies

Aww yeah, nothing turns me on more than a fine Muslim woman. Just look at her sexy toes. I want to lick them after they've been walking the hot sands all day. These ladies are begging for the penis the way they're showing off all that skin. I want to bend them over and make them scream, "Alahu Akbar!"

Rolling On The Range Rover

Range Rovers offer a smooth ride, whether you're sitting inside or on the hood. So grab a few African buddies, hop on top of the Rover and let's hit the town for a good time. Leave the AK-47's and hyenas at home. What am I saying? We got room for those in the back.

Wang Family Station Wagon

The Honda 50 cc scooter will take three generations of Wangs around town with the greatest of ease. Just be on the lookout for other Asian drivers, as we all know, they love to run over people on scooters. Bonus for Dad is the only one with a helmet on. I guess he pays the costs to be the boss.

Brazilian Batman Will Save The Day

 

Batman has abandoned his fancy gadgets and left the comfort of his mansion in Gotham City to patrol the favelas in Brazil. He's taken to a more modest outfit as to blend in to his surroundings a bit more, but he's still got all the right moves. And hey, it's a lot better than Ben Affleck.
Argentine photography collective M.A.F.I.A has created a humorous series that imagines the mighty Batman impoverished and homeless, wandering around the city of Rio.
Depicting a Bruce Wayne that has been stripped of his fortune and powerful gadgets, this series shows the not-so-glamorous lifestyle of a down-and-out Dark Knight.
Despite his fall from grace, it seems that Batman has refused to relinquish his superhero identity, and still chooses to put on his mask and cape each day.
Amusing and a little sad at the same time, these photographs let you view the Batman from a completely unfamiliar perspective.

Don't Let Go

I've got a strong feeling that we will be seeing these two on crazyshit again. Hopefully in a video next time. Maybe from 20 seconds after this picture was taken or maybe a few years down the road, but they've got the right moves to end up back on this site with several body parts no longer in tact.

Wear That Beard With Pride

I'm pretty sure I saw this guy in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and he hasn't shaved his beard since. That thing is majestic. OK, not really, but it takes a level of commitment that I don't have. I'll give him that.

Homeless Woman Accused Of Engaging In Sexual Activity With Good Samaritan’s Dog

(Photo Credit: Thinkstock)

SOUTH OAKLAND (KDKA) – A homeless woman is facing charges after allegedly engaging in sexual activity with a dog following an act of kindness by a good Samaritan.
According to a criminal complaint, the incident happened at a home in the 3200-block of Dawson Street on Dec. 14.
The homeless woman, referred to as Jane Doe in the complaint, began a conversation with a woman inside a nearby Rite Aid store. She explained that she was homeless, four months pregnant and had nowhere warm to sleep.
The patron extended an invitation to Jane Doe to come back to her house for a warm meal.
When they arrived at the home, Jane Doe took a shower and was given a clean set of clothes by the homeowner.
Around 3 a.m. the homeowner came downstairs looking for her pit bull and observed Jane Doe engaging in sexual activity with the dog.
At that time, the homeowner demanded Jane Doe leave the home.
According to the complaint, Jane Doe became upset and threw a five-pound dumbbell through the glass storm door. In addition, she told police that she also broke some flower pots and garden lights because she was mad.
Jane Doe was arrested and is facing a list of charges including sexual intercourse with an animal, criminal mischief and defiant trespass.

source:
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2015/01/06/homeless-woman-accused-of-engaging-in-sexual-activity-with-good-samaritans-dog/#.VKwPYz87G-E.facebook

Woman falls to her death just after accepting marriage proposal

 

(Shutterstock)
 

A vacationer in Ibiza died when she fell off a cliff while celebrating her engagement.

Dimitrina Dimitrova, 29, suffered a heart attack brought on by injuries after falling 65 feet from a cliff on Ibiza's west coast, according to the Daily Mail. Dimitrova had just accepted her boyfriend's marriage proposal and was jumping up and down in excitement when she lost her balance and fell.

The incident occurred on Tuesday around lunchtime. Local authorities are calling the woman's death "the result of a tragic freak accident." Dimitrova had arrived two days earlier to visit her boyfriend and look for work.

Last August, a Polish couple fell to their deaths while taking a selfie near a cliff's edge in Cabo da Portugal, according to the Daily Mail.


source:
http://abc13.com/496600/

Woman kills herself trying to adjust her bra holster

ST. JOSEPH, Mich. — Police say a 55-year-old southwestern Michigan woman who died after accidentally shooting herself in the head in January was adjusting a handgun in her bra holster at the time.
The St. Joseph Public Safety Department is awaiting a full autopsy report in the death of Christina Bond, but director Mark Clapp on Wednesday released details about the circumstances surrounding the Jan. 1 shooting to the Kalamazoo Gazette.
Clapp said Bond was “having trouble adjusting her bra holster, couldn’t get it to fit the way she wanted it to. She was looking down at it and accidentally discharged the weapon.”
Bond was taken to a hospital, where she died.

source:
http://nypost.com/2015/02/18/woman-kills-herself-trying-to-adjust-her-bra-holster/

Possibly The Dumbest Name Ever

Hashtag Jameson, or # Jameson. That's about the stupidest fucking name I've ever heard. I looked it up and there really are a pair of retarded parents that thought this was clever name for their fuck trophy. Too bad you don't need a license to get ovaries.

I Parked Right Out Front

 

Traffic is crazy during the holidays and finding a parking spot can be a real bitch. Sometimes you just have to get a little creative, and it's totally worth it when you get a kick ass spot right in front of your building.

Squeezed Right In There

Parallel parking is a good skill to have, and comes in real handy when spots are scarce and you need to squeeze in a tight space. I wonder how many tries it took this guy. Just one by the looks of it. I wonder how many drinks it took.

Whole Lotta Love

This is both the most interesting and most confusing box of cabbage I've ever seen. Are they saying Chucky is God? And who the fuck is Jacob? Damn, cabbage, you so crazy.

Best 10 Quotes for Facebook 2015

1. Fear can hold you prisoner, hope can set you free.
2. Gravitation is not responsible for falling in love.
3. The only fence against the world is a thorough knowledge of it.
4. We are born with two options: to be slave or master of our destiny.
5. Every bad situation will have something positive, Even a stopped clock shows correct time twice a day. Think positive=SUCCESS.
6. That’s so sweet when couples act like best friends and best friends act like couples.
7. If opportunity doesn’t knock build a door.
8. Always remember you’re unique — just like everyone else.
9. Whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say.
10. Flirting is like a game of Chess. One wrong move…and you’re married.

She Places A Tea Bag In A Sink Full Of Dirty Dishes. I’ve Never Seen This Before

You know the sink full of dishes you come home to after a long day? Very frustrating as you likely want to get right to preparing a meal, yet you are faced with a mountain of dishes in front of you to deal with. Next time this happens, here’s a tip that actually works awesome: drop a tea bag or two into the water and let everything soak. The tea breaks up grease as well as food stains. This will limit the amount of scrubbing time you will have to put in.
Tea as a beverage is common, but tea can be used for so much more. In addition to making your dish washing go much easier, tea will also serve as an excellent deodorizer that can freshen up your house. Oh, and we are talking about using used tea bags! So this also serves as an excellent way to recycle. Minor skin irritations can also be treated by tea bags.
Will you tea drinkers be giving these tips a try? As someone who is very much into tea, I found myself taking notes while watching this video. Very helpful hints, and they can save you a few bucks as well.

source:
http://new.damn.com/places-tea-bag-sink-full-dirty-dishes-ive-never-seen/?utm_source=ef&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=teaef

Mom Hears Son Talking To Himself On The Toilet, And Records This Hilarious Thing. LOL!

“Holy! That poo will overflow the toilet.” This is how the recording of a son on the toilet talking to himself begins. The mom heard some noises coming from the bathroom, and realized it was her son talking to himself. Keep on listening throughout this whole piece as things just continue to get funnier and funnier. How the mom could contain herself without breaking out into uncontrollable laughter, I have no idea. But thankfully she kept her composure while recording, so all of us get to enjoy this hilarious capture! We nearly died of laughter it was so funny. Don’t forget to share this video with friends and family!

source:
http://new.damn.com/mom-hears-son-talking-toilet-records-hilarious-thing-lol/

He Opens A Can Using Just His Hands, I Had No Idea It Was Possible. And It’s SO Simple!

The Crazy Russian Hacker is at it again, this time he explains how to open a can when you don’t have a can opener, using only your hands and a hard concrete surface. It’s very frustrating to try to open a can when you find yourself without a can opener or a similar sharp object. This trick is easy to learn and after testing it myself, I noticed that it really works. It’s great advice for a survival situation, you never know when you’ll need it, but it’s always good to be prepared.

source:
http://new.damn.com/opens-can-using-just-hands-no-idea-possible-simple/?utm_source=ef&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=canopenef

Funny Animals Part - 1