Mom Tries To Nap With Baby. What The Baby Does To Her Is Too Funny

Very cute, and no doubt a lot of parents out there will be able to relate. Mom decides to film her morning routine which consists of waking up after the baby wakes, and then bringing her into bed so mom can catch a few extra Z’s. Only one problem: Someone does not want to go back to sleep, and it’s not mom! Watch as the baby squirms and turns and tries playing with her mom’s face while mom is desperately trying to nap. Definitely will put a smile on your face!

source:
http://new.damn.com/mom-tries-nap-baby-baby-funny/

She Offers Her Pet Rat A Piece Of Broccoli. His Reaction Is So Funny, I Had To Hit Replay

Oh, rats. One of the better-known but woefully misunderstood creatures to walk this planet, rats are often viewed in a negative light. Contrary to popular opinion, rats are fastidious groomers and highly sociable animals; domestic varieties truly enjoy the company of humans. Altruistic, they share their food with their friends and come to the aid of fellow rats in trouble. In experiments, rats would attempt to free other rats from a cage before obtaining a piece of chocolate for themselves.
These traits, as well as their intelligence, make for a wonderful pet with plenty of personality. Rats both in the wild and in captivity also enjoy as much variety in their diets as humans. The pet rat in this video may also be as picky as some.

source:
http://new.damn.com/offers-pet-rat-piece-broccoli-reaction-funny-hit-replay/

This Poor Baby Is Drowning. Now Watch What A Wild Stallion Does…

Champ, a wild stallion, is grazing along the bank of the Salt River in Arizona’s Tonto National Forest, along with his family. A few minutes later, arriving at the opposite bank, are a second band of wild horses.
Champ and his tribe become interested in the the new group, and a few begin to cross the river to check them out.
But then the strong current forces the filly of the group to be pulled underwater and swept downstream.
Champ attempts to grab the filly by the side of the neck. Unable to secure a grip, the filly struggles in the water and breaks away from the group.
Then Champ also breaks from the group and goes after her, grabbing her again by the neck, but this time he is able to gently help her back to the band, not letting go until he is absolutely sure she is completely safe.
The filly then heads to her mother, very shaken up from the ordeal. Once everything is settled, Champ himself proceeds across the river to say hello to the stallions.
Champ then returns to greet his family and then, as the video says, “Like a scripted ending, to a fairy tale story, three birds land on Champ and his mare.”

source:
http://new.damn.com/this-poor-baby-is-drowning-now-watch-what-a-wild-stallion-does/

A 5 Year Old Street Kid Goes to McDonald’s for the First Time. Seconds Later? I’m In Tears.

This heartbreaking video of a 5 year old child who enters a McDonald’s for the first time, will surely reminds you how lucky you are.
Varun Pruthi, an actor from India, is widely known for his controversial and thought provoking videos. He also conducted several social experiments with the intent to make our society a much better place.
In his latest video posted on Youtube, Varun invited a 5-year-old street kid, who sells pens outside a McDonald outlet, to come with him inside. The child spends his time everyday outside the McDonald outlet selling pens and just staring at the people eating their meals inside. For the first time in his life, thanks to a stranger, he finally got the chance to have anything he wants to eat inside the McDonald’s. Much to Varun’s surprise, the kid didn’t eat everything. He saved one burger for his sister back home. What a thoughtful kid!
When Varun asked why he doesn’t go to school. He answered, “If I go to school, how will I feed myself?”

source:
http://new.damn.com/a-5-year-old-street-kid-goes-to-mcdonalds-for-the-first-time-seconds-later-im-in-tears/

What Are You Trying To Tell Me China?

Oh China, you so crazy. Once again, you've made me shake my head and ask myself, "What the fuck?" I can only assume that this a sign telling people where they can find dogs to kill and eat. What do you think szechuan chicken is?

Who Wants Some Shaolin Fried Chicken?

Colonel Sanders is worldwide, bitches, and he's even over there in China, serving up his delicious fried chicken. Well, maybe. I'm guessing it's actually fried rat disguised as chicken. Either way, he's sporting some sweet threads. I bet you didn't know the Colonel is a Kung-Fu master, did you?

Where's The Ladies Room?

This restaurant is a great place to take a date. When your chick asks where the ladies room is, she gets to go where she belongs and can whip up your dessert for you real quick. Or if she's shitty company, give the manager a heads up, and he'll have that bitch washing dishes.

Too Many Fatties In The Car

Oh shit, a car full of BBWs on their way to McDonald's went and done collapsed the road on itself. I told those fatties that car was too small for them. They need something much bigger to disperse their weight. That little hatchback provides too great of a concentrated load for the pavement to handle.

Flights Delayed Due To Unruly Wild Boar

MADRID (AP) — Spain's airport authority says a wild boar that broke through a perimeter fence at Madrid's international airport caused runways to be shut briefly and two landings to be delayed.
The beast set off security alarms late Friday and when cameras focused on the spot, operators observed it turning around and loping off through the hole it had made.
The incident happened 100 meters (330 feet) from the nearest stretch of runway. It delayed an incoming flight from London 20 minutes and a domestic flight from A Coruna 10 minutes, the airport authority's statement said Saturday.
Newspaper El Pais reported the captain aboard Iberia flight 3179 inbound from London told passengers an animal had "surprisingly" forced him to abort a landing approach.
The hole was repaired later.

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/16/wild-boar-flight-delays-spain-airport_n_6691590.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Brandon Scott Wolf Creates Dating Website For Himself Only

Finding love online can be difficult when you are just one of millions actively seeking a partner.
So Brandon Scott Wolf has found a way to increase the odds in his favor. He's created DateBrandonScott Wolf, a dating site where he is the only dating option.
The website claims to be “America’s No. 1 Online Dating Site for Brandon Scott Wolf.”
Women interested in dating the 25-year-old Brooklyn-based bartender and comedian simply need to fill out a profile and write an essay between 500 and 1,000 words about "an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family."
In return, Wolf promises to be the perfect partner for a woman seeking a serious relationship, which he defines as "being able to lay on a couch together while wearing pajamas and watching 'Bob’s Burgers' (LOL)."
So far, Wolf has received more than 45 applications, including one all the way from India, Fusion.net reports.
Wolf is cautiously optimistic he might find lasting love from one of the applicants.
“Half seem real, a quarter seem VERY real,” he told Elite Daily.
Since Wolf is a known comedian who contributes jokes to the "Weekend Update" segment on "Saturday Night Live," you're forgiven if you're not sure he's serious.
Neither is he.
"People have asked me, 'Are you serious? Is this a joke?' And my only response is, 'I'm not even sure,'" Wolf told Mashable. "There's a part of me that's hoping someone is going to get this 100 percent, and won't catfish me, and then I'll ask them out on a date."


source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/18/brandon-scott-wolf-_n_6707890.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Woman Unknowingly Drives Pounds of Pot Around in Van for Several Years

They weren't rolling doobies down by the river, but Melodie Peil and her family were using their gently used 1990 Chevy van to roll around town when they discovered a stowaway that had been bumming a ride with them for about the last 15 years, 13 and a half pounds of marijuana packaged for transport.
It's not that anyone riding around in the Peil family truckster would've noticed the smell of pot due to the fact that it appears it hasn't seen the business end of a scrub brush since it was originally purchased from the used car dealership. (See attached video news clip.)
But Melodie was having trouble locking the side passenger door, so she asked a family friend to take a look at the trouble for her. When the friend popped off the door's interior panel to check the lock mechanism, he quickly noticed the door's frame was jam-packed with packaged bricks of the sticky stuff.
"Low and behold, we discovered something that didn't belong there," Peil affirmed. "It was pretty shocking."
Law enforcement officials claim that the stash was most likely placed there by the van's previous owner and forgotten about.
What makes this story even more "shocking" is the fact that Peil drove the pot-stocked van through at least 10 border patrol checkpoints in New Mexico without officials detecting the unbeknownst cargo.
Five-0 says the van's secret stash probably wasn't detectable by drug-sniffing dogs and border agents due to the fact that it was aged.
Have you purchased a used vehicle lately?
If so, you'd better give it a proper nasal appraisal. You might be driving around with a bud-load of the good-good!
Toke on and travel safe, tokers!

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-/woman-unknowingly-drives-_b_6576414.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news&ir=Weird+News

Boy, 5, Claims He Lived Past Life As Woman Who Died In Chicago Fire

Luke Ruehlman is a healthy 5-year-old boy. Still, he's already had a lifetime of experiences -- he has even died!
At least, that's what he claims. In a bizarre series of TV interviews, Ruehlman has managed to convince at least a few people that he lived a past life as Pam Robinson, an African-American Chicago woman who died in a fire at the Paxton Hotel in 1993.
Ruehlman started weirding out his stay-at-home mom, Erika, at the age of 2, when he started talking about a mystery woman named Pam. Later, she would ask him directly who the heck Pam was.
"He turned to me and said, 'Well, I was,'" she told Fox 8 (video above). "[He said] 'Well, I used to be, but I died and I went up to heaven. I saw God and then eventually, God pushed me back down and I was a baby and you named me Luke.'"

More Info with Pics at Source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/20/boy-reincarnated-woman-chicago-fire_n_6715128.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular

Police Arrest Connecticut Man Who Became Irate With $50 Haircut

STAMFORD, Conn. (AP) — A man who was unhappy with his haircut faces criminal charges after police say he became enraged and threw items around a Connecticut salon.
Stamford Police Sgt. Kelly Connelly says 47-year-old Alan Becker was angered further when he learned the trim he got Wednesday morning was going to cost him $50.
Connelly says Becker kicked a hole in a salon wall, became hostile toward staff and customers, and threw a candle display and other items, then left.
Police say Becker returned later and demanded his hair be "fixed," but the salon refused.
Authorities later arrested Becker on breach of peace and criminal mischief charges at his Stamford home.
A recording on a phone listing for Becker said it couldn't receive new messages. It's not clear if he has a lawyer.

source:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/20/police-man-unhappy-with-_n_6723440.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

Funny Quotes

“I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral.”
― Jarod Kintz

“I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.”
― Jarod Kintz

“Whether you live to be 50 or 100 makes no difference, if you made no difference in the world.”
― Jarod Kintz

“If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.”
― Jarod Kintz

“Love is what you make it. Unfortunately, I can’t make it today, as I have a doctor’s appointment.”
― Jarod Kintz

“I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.”
― Jarod Kintz

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”
― Jarod Kintz